Sunday, June 17, 2012

what's in YOUR bag?

You know that scene in The Breakfast Club where Emilio Esteves and that other guy go through Ally Sheedy’s purse and pull out like eight pounds of weird, random shit, prompting Ally’s character to explain that "you never know when you might have to jam"?
Well, that’s pretty much what every mom’s purse/diaper bag is like inside.  We carry an insane amount of crap around with us at all times and hardly ever throw any of it away.  On any given day you will find a myriad of toys, cosmetics, spare clothing and even food in there.  It's like a portable disaster kit for a very specific kind of disaster (nuclear holocaust, no – explosive diarrhea, yes).  And if the mom is like me, none of it is organized in any way whatsoever.  It’s like a crime scene in there.  About once a month I make myself sit on the floor and go through all of it, a process that takes about half an hour and usually results in a pile of rubble that somehow seems bigger than the bag itself.  Well, during this last week my bag has gotten to the point where I have to dig around for like five minutes to find my keys/ phone/ Estie’s stuffed giraffe.  Now, I think the most annoying sound in the whole world is the rustle-rustle-rustle of a woman digging through her purse searching for something – I even annoy myself with it.  So it was time!  But I've been putting it off so the big clean-out would coincide with the #17 pic of June's photo challenge, "in my bag."  And it's been a long week, but finally, today was the big day!  As always, I was astounded by the sheer mass of crapola that had been hanging out in my bag, not to mention the fact that I’d been lugging it all around with me for weeks.  No wonder I’m so ripped.

Here is a sampling of the 7-11 that was inside my purse:

So that's where all her passies went.


Thirteen lip schmears.

Three emergency Estie costume changes.

Five pairs of cheap, crappy, scratched-up sunglasses.

The cutest drool-catchers ever.

One Estie shoe.  Just one.

I am notorious for painting my nails in the car before leaving the house
so they can dry while I drive.  Makes sense to me!


My wallet, phone and keys

Three pens

A small notepad

$4.57 in coins

Four diapers, wipes, and a bottle

Three head bands

Two necklaces

Two pairs of earrings

A protein bar
Estie's teething tablets


Six tampons, in case I and five of my friends unexpectedly start our periods while out hiking

And all of that...
was in THIS:

That either makes me David Blaine or Mary Poppins. 
Either way, I'm slightly creepy with a bad black dye job... Hmm.
Oh well.  At least I know that if Estie shits her pants three times in one day... I'm ready.



  1. This makes my day! Now that my kids are older, this is how my trunk looks. I no longer carry it in my purse, but in my trunk. Right now, I have 2 scooters, a skateboard, pogo stick, basketball, bat bag (with all the baseball necessities inside), beach bag (with all necessities also), extra bathing suits for me and the kids (in case we on a whim decide to go swimming somewhere), badminton set, 4 deflated pool floats, 2 life jackets, and 3 bags of stuff that need to go to the salvation army (and much, much more, this is just what I can remember)! And all a Camry! WOW! Just realized I have issues with keeping my kids entertained!

  2. And p.s....KUDDOS to the fact that you and your 5 closest friends can go hiking with no fear of "aww shat, I didn't bring an extra tampon!"
    There's no need to fear....prepared Leila is here!

  3. Ansley, I want to come hang out with you guys! You have a PARTY waiting to happen in your trunk! I'll bring the tampons!!!

    PS - I, too, perpetually have bags that never seem to make it to the Salvation Army! Do we still get good samaritan points for that?