i should not be left alone

So the hubs is out of town on bidness for the night (come on over, theives and rapists!).  My mom literally just shat herself over me telling the internet I'm home alone, by the way.  Hi, Mom!  Don't worry, I have a loaded firearm and absolutely no idea how to use it, which, if you ask me, is absolutely terrifying.  I also have, as Ferris Bueller's sister announced to their home intruder, "a scorching case of herpes." 

Moving on...

I miss my hubby terribly - I do - but I'm also a teeeensy bit excited to have the house all to myself after Estie goes to bed... is that wrong?  I think there is something to be said for the whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" concept.  I mean I don't want to go taking week-long vacays from my better half or anything... but one night won't kill us, right?  

What shall I do with all this time alone? I ask myself.  And then I answer my own question, because somebody has to and I'm the only one here: Whatever the hell I want, that's what!  This is gonna be AWESOME!  I can give myself a pedicure, in my underwear,  IN THE LIVING ROOM!   I can eat ice cream and pop corn and Girl Scout cookies like I am the only patron in the best damn movie theater in the history of all time.  I will spend three hours online looking at stuff I can't buy and saving it to my favorites anyway.  I will watch mindless crap on TV... wait, no, I do that when B. is here too!  Actually, come to think of it, I do the destructive eating and the online time-wasting too... maybe not the pedi in my panties, but only because I think no one should see me bending in that fashion without a shirt on; he'd probably love it!  Hmm... so maybe this alone time stuff ain't all its cracked up to be... I do miss the way he rubs my feet while we watch Workaholics... and his cute little laugh when I spill crumbs on myself/the couch/the baby... his warm body spooning mine until I fall asleep and start to drool and he rolls over to the dry patch of the bed where he sleeps... SIGH!  Come home, Benjamin!  I MISS you!  I NEED you!  I can't...

Ooh look, Pinterest!