Monday, April 2, 2012

fat kid problems (it's not an eating disorder!)

Do you ever have one of those off-the-wagon days with your eating habits - I mean really going off the deep end - and then decide to remedy it by purposely eating more and more terrible crap, so that you absolutely gross yourself out and therefore, in theory, won't act like such a fat kid the next day? 

...No?  Well I do.  It's not an eating disorder, shut up. 

Yesterday was one of those days for me.  It started when I allowed myself to dunk ginger snaps in my coffee for breakfast.  Hey, it was Sunday - why not?  After that I polished off Annie's friend's uneaten pop tart after she left our house because she was vomiting with the flu.  I was only halfway sure she had not touched it.  For lunch we treated ourselves to takeout yumminess since we had a guest over.  The hubs and I shared two flat bread pizzas.  In other words, I ate a whole flat bread pizza.  The rest of the day/evening went downhill from there, with my hunger only seeming to increase the more I fed it.  After about a dozen visits to the pantry after dinner to stuff random things in my cheeks like a hibernating squirrel, I finally went upstairs and brushed my teeth to keep myself from doing any further damage to my kidneys.  Needless to say, my plan to gross myself out was successful - I've got a pretty vicious food hangover today.  I feel like a lethargic, bloated starfish, like I can't put my arms down or bring my legs together because I am retaining so much water (okay, food).  I did check in the mirror, and thank God, I don't actually look like a starfish.  I look like regular me, except I'm wearing a looser shirt than normal.  But I feel disgusting, and my stomach is not speaking to me.  Plus I hate this shirt.  So it's back on the wagon for me today.  Protien and produce, baby - that's it.  I mean I only have a week to deprive myself in preparation Easter Sunday, that special time of year when I spiral out of control on ham and candy.  Because nothing says "Happy Birthday, Jesus" like crouching in my closet emptying the contents of a bucketful of plastic eggs straight down my gullet.  (Still not an eating disorder, get off my back!)

1 comment:

  1. Crackin' a sista up! Seriously....skr8 crackin' boo!
    **This is Ansley by the way. It logged me in under a salon that I am doing some marketing for!**