i'm baaaaaaaaack!

So let’s just go ahead and address the elephant in the room here:  it’s been like a month since I’ve blogged.  I know.  I’m an ass.  And I’m not going to make any excuses.  All I’ll say is that I’ve had some pretty serious personal issues going on recently.  It’s bad.  A death in the family.  A couple deaths, actually.  And a missing person.  Also a sex tape scandal.  A rather large fern in our living room is wilting.  Plus, I’m growing my bangs out (can I get an amen?!).  Shit’s been ROUGH.  And when your dad and grandma die [twelve and five years ago, respectively] and there are leaves all over your living room and your bare ass is on the internet, it’s kind of hard to churn out light-hearted quippies about ginger kids and ice cream orgies.  Just sayin.

Please inbox me for a mailing address if you would like to send a card.

 

But seriously...

 

My loves, I'm sorry – I let ya down. 

I’ve missed you. 

Thank you for missing me back :)  
 

*Okay, after fielding two separate inquiries from concerned friends, I feel this post requires a disclaimer:  IT'S COMPLETE BULLSHIT! I mean, except the deaths; those people are really dead.  But they've been dead a long time now.  You don't have to feel bad.  Kthxbye!