Wednesday, October 17, 2012

call me macaulay

Through some mystical turn of events, I'm home alone for a few hours tonight.  Well, Estie's here... but she's ass-up in her crib, snoring like a fat little puppy and dreaming of delicious finger foods.  So I'm alone.  Which is RARE.  Like, unicorn sextuplets-rare.  And you know how excited I get about my solo time.  All alone in a big, quiet house... the freedom is intoxicating.  I can do anything - naked pedicures, gluttonous snacking, mindless interwebbing - and no one's around to judge me.  Tonight I'm going with ice cream on the couch, peeing with the door open, and a thirty minute scalding-hot shower in which I will shave every hair below my neck and emerge like a brand-new baby seal, ready to be clubbed.  The hubs will come home to a fat, sleepy hairless mammal, curled in a ball on the couch next to an empty ice cream container.  What a lucky, lucky man...

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