new year's resolutions

I can literally feel you rolling your eyes right now. And I totally understand. New Year’s resolutions are nauseating.

“I’m gonna work out every day, and donate to flood/ tsunami/ fire/ earthquake victims, and make more eye contact with my kids, and only eat through a straw, blah blah blah.”

Yeah, right. Nobody actually follows through with these things. Or if they do, it doesn’t last past February 1^st.  New Year’s resolutions should really be called January's Incredibly Ambitious To Do List.

So, yeah. You don't wanna hear mine and I don't blame you. But since one of my resolutions is to start blogging again, which you’ve been ASKING me to do for a really long time, well then I guess you’re just gonna sit there and listen. Besides, I’m doing things a little differently this year.

Since the last two decades have proven me to be something of an underachiever where personal goals are concerned (daily blog, what?), I’ve decided to be more realistic with my resolutions this year. I have three kids now and I just really don’t have time to wallow in the shame and defeat of years passed. That’s a single person’s leisure. Ain’t no mommy got time for that. So here is my list of *realistic* New Year’s resolutions for 2014.

1.  Meet some new people. Actually hang out with the people I already know.

2. Be more active. Jiggle my foot back and forth while sitting on the couch breastfeeding.

3. Be a better housekeeper. Figure out what that sticky stuff is in the fridge. Try to remove.

4. Post fewer pictures of my kids on Facebook. Oh, who am I kidding. They're adorable. Can't stop, won't stop.

5. Have more sex. Okay I should probably keep this one.

6. Eat at the dinner table every night. Remember to feed the kids.

7. Stop oversharing on public media. Get a Twitter account to limit characters.

8. Lose ten pounds. Just don't get diabetes.

9. Be more organized. Try not to lose the baby.

And finally, in all seriousness:

10. Blog every day. Blog once a week. To start. And it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to get done.

Phew! I feel shiny and new already.

Inspired? Please feel free to join me in my half-assed journey to slight self-improvement, or even suggest other ways in which I can try to be sort of a little bit better at a select few things. Happy New Year ya filthy animals.